The only serious part of this post:
So my father found out about a week ago that he is basically falling apart He has heart problems, acid reflux, and he's overweight. Very recently he found out he has a blood disease which causes him to have high levels of iron in the blood. So high that they sent his blood to the CDC. My only guess is it was so high they thought my dad might be a magnet and try to see if it was possible to use him to hold up their kids 3rd grade drawing on a giant refrigerator. (I'm trying so hard to be serious about this) Back on subject. So he found out last week that he has a very rare a newly discovered form of hepatitis that is non-contagious, called non-alcoholic steatohepatitis. Apparently it's a liver disease that is characterized by an inflamed liver and fat in the liver.. So due to all of this he was told that if he were to get hepatitis A or B that he would be dead in 48 hours so they vaccinated him. He was also told he is to become a vegan and lose 30lbs in 90 days, he is such a meatarian that he thinks a french fry and lettuce on a burger is a vegetable. And as support my mother and I are going vegan too, with the exception that all three of us can have wheat bread as long as it is whole wheat flour.
Whoever might read this if you are scared you may have this because it can even occur in small children then you can get tested. However, it is very expensive unless your insurance company pays for it. If your doctor ever says that your iron is very high ask them if it's possible that you may have this or if you just need to cut back on certain meats.
The softer less serious side of the post:
Trader Joe's Visit: I love Trader Joe's, even before this incident. This store just opened in my hometown and the parking situation was so bad that the local police department was having to direct traffic in and out of the parking lot and directing people where to park. They have so much better things to s=do with their time, but if they get overtime, I doubt they are complaining too much. If not, they probably want hate life right now. Other than the parking and traffic from hell, the place was packed. On the bright side, they gave me a list of all of their vegan foods they carried which was about 5 pages long. I even had a clerk walk around with me and show me where everything was almost like having a personal shopper. However, he got a little too enthusiastic that I thought he was going to go home with me and escape. After that experience, I walked back to my car with all of my spoils and noticed there were two women making out next to my car. My response was more of "Umm can you move that over about a foot so I can open my car door." Very politely they moved and continued. Apparently Trader Joe's was a very hot experience for them and they just couldn't wait.
The Made Up Portion of My Vegan Experiment:
Day one: No meat... ate 7 fries with veggie cheese, then granola bar and imaged I was eating a ham sandwich... and i hate ham... dinner ate a flat bread with cranberry mustard and fake spicy sausage.... I think I'm dead.
Day Two: The walls are closing in. Everyone is against me. The carrot in the refrigerator threatened to cut me. The pineapple said it would do nasty things to me after lights out. There is no way out. Must Google how to make a nuesse. (Contribution by Carlos Spicyweiner/Theodore Turkilton) Apparently, I'm either suppose to Google how to make a river or he meant to spell it noose.
Special Note: He had no idea that I actually had carrots and two giant pineapples in my fridge
when saying this... I swear we are the same person...
Special Note: He had no idea that I actually had carrots and two giant pineapples in my fridge
when saying this... I swear we are the same person...
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