Ding Dong Ditch: Pants Not Included in this Post

Ding Dong Ditch: Minus the Pants

(Not wearing pants while typing this)

So when I was in college, I had some pretty awesome roommates at the on campus apartments. Well two in particular which will be known as Bren and Whit,  but Whit was not one of my roommates during this event. So I got this great idea after finding a website with some hilarious cheesy pick-up lines. 

This was my favorite: Are those space pants? Because your ass is out of this world! 

Back on the subject. So I had a huge stack of post-its and decided that I would write a different pick up line for each resident of an apartment, which the names were listed on the doors of each apartment. I would then go down the hall after posting all of them and in a rapid motion Bren and I would run while knocking on each door and do this on each floor, which came to a total of 59 apartments (number does not include our apartment . There were only three floors by the way and we would save our floor which was the second for last for a clean getaway. 

I know you are probably wondering where the ding dong part and the no pants part come in, but I am getting there. So on the second floor we noticed while running and knocking that one room had an actual door bell installed so we pressed it multiple times before running off. While running away the residents (4 guys) of the room happened to see us so we tried weaving around the odd shaped layout of the floor to escape to our apartment on the other side of the building. 

At some point Bren and I start doing laundry and that's when the pants come off and while waiting for them to get clean we start watching the TV. Well some time passes and someone knocks on the door and it happens to be the residents of the apartment with the doorbell. Later found out that they knocked on every door on the floor to see who was ringing their doorbell. So I open the door and try to act like I have no idea what they are talking about. I have a brief conversation with them and introduce myself and ask Bren to come to the door. She says, "Um yea, I'm good. I don't have pants on right now." That's when the "Oh shit" moment comes across my mind. I ask the guys, "I'm not wearing pants, am I?" Of course they confirm the fact that I am indeed not wearing pants. I then say "Well, it was nice meeting you, but I have an important appointment with my pants."

About a month later I joined the resident hall council and realized that those same guys were the heads of the council. So I walked up to them and introduced myself as "The Girl Without Pants."

Next Post: How to ruin a movie for rude teenagers

Bucket List (I am not crazy, just very imaginative)

My Bucket List:

• Be kidnapped and thrown into the trunk of my own car. Have a trunk buddy so I won't be lonely. Also will accept the kidnapper to open the small door in the back seat. I may be kidnapped, but I still want someone to talk to.

• Perform a viking funeral for a friend...He knows who he is!

• Slap or tickle a midget.

• Be slapped by a midget.

• Become a pro at Halo player after stealing a friend's Xbox.

• Do a sexy pole dance without falling on my face.

• Do a pole dance in a onsie.

• Spend a whole day dressed as Ms. Swan. I practice her voice every time I talk with my Korean friend.

• Slap a random stranger on the ass and walk away calmly or run depending on the situation.

• Create a weird collection, other than cannibalistic dust bunnies that live under my bed..

• Build a boat and sail to Somalia, become a pirate... (Contribution from Carlos Spicyweiner ..Told me just now his fake name may be changed soon if he can come up with something better) Note: It is now hereby proclaimed that his fake name will be Lord Carlos Spicyweiner III, Esq.

• See a highly inappropriate puppet show

• Run through a store on Black Friday in a suit made entirely of bubble wrap for my protection. Note to self: make sure you can bend your knees so you don't look like the little kid from A Christmas Story.

• Have a full conversation in Old English, while wearing a top hat, monocle, mustache and drinking a cup of tea with the pinky out or swirling a glass of brandy.

• Learn Klingon and have an inappropriate conversation at a Comic Book convention

• Have a sumo fight in a sumo suit, against an actual sumo wrestler

• Hang out in the park and sit next to a couple making out and just stare blankly into the distance

• I would say show up to a costume party dressed for the wrong theme but I have already done that... My work place at CCFO was having a party and the theme was CCFiestO... One would think to themselves, "Ok, that means it's going to be a Mexican themed party." My friend, that I will call Kay decided well since the O is there it should be Italian. So we showed up dressed as Mario and Luigi fully aware of what we were doing....I was Mario

I'm gonna stop this for now, before I get myself committed. I do actually plan on doing these and will keep you posted as I do them. Let me know if you having any hilarious ideas for me to post to this.

Next will be another installment of No Pantsness!!!!!!!

In the Beginning

So this is the very post and the title may make some wonder. I have had several incidents over the years where I realized I was not wearing pants and made things really awkward for those around me.

Just for today I'll share one incident. When I was in middle school, I decided to fake sick so that I didn't have to got to school like every kid tries and I had the advantage of parents that left at 6am every morning and didn't come home until I was already out of school so it was perfect. Well back on the subject... that day I was playing video games in nothing but a t-shirt and underpants. The flowery cotton ones that say "don't touch me, I'm still a kid." Which are perfect even in this day and age for when you go out with a guy that you NEVER want to have sex with. Crap! I need to stay on subject. So at some point a UPS truck drives up and the delivery guy rings the door bell. I calmly answer the door, and the UPS guy is freaking out about me not wearing pants. I then calmly take the package and look up at the delivery guy and say "pervert" and close the door and return to my video game world.

The point of this blog is to share some of the random and stupid ideas that I have throughout my days. Friend told me I should either write a book or a blog. Blog takes way less time. 

NOTE: I am not crazy and no I'm not and idiot. I just have really stupid rapid occurring ideas and share them way to often with friends. This blog also keeps me from laughing at an idea before I share with others which is very common for me.

Yup I kissed a CPR dummy and I liked it!